etiquette

You've been waiting for the right moment. There's enough liquor in you to knock out Dakota Fanning. The conditions are just right for some hot action.
You've found an empty room, and the fact that it so happens to be the bathroom doesn't faze you (whether or not it's the alcohol is irrelevant) so you stumble inside and close the door behind you with him close on your tail (literally?). Upon locking it, you realize that this is the perfect spot and you're far too disoriented to find somewhere else of equal comfort. You turn around, and notice that he's close enough to smell the Bacardi on his breath (but considering how much he's had tonight it's not that close). He might have smiled, you might have looked at him lustfully, but one thing lead to another and you're straight-up making out against the bathroom door. So far, things are looking pretty swell.
While his hands are all over you like a blind man groping a basketball, and as far as your drunk-self knows, this is where the shit's at. You forget how long it's been since you stopped for air, so you decide to give those lippy parts (lol@syd) a break and let him enter the world of Your Neck.
You lean there, thinking he'll nuzzle your bosom for a minute, expecting some kind of wild, feminine ecstasy to erupt from your inner core... until he stops and looks up at you with a dumbfounded expression.
"Is that it?"
Confusion hits you like a cock in the face.
"What do you mean, is that it?"
"I mean, are we finished here?"
"Well I'm not, but you are."

Today's topic is Hook-Up Etiquette. Allow me to explain.

- When someone offers something that isn't their mouth, don't stop to think about what you should do with it. Animal instinct should kick in right about...now.
- I know you're drunk, but please, for the love of god, swallow some saliva every now and then so it doesn't look like I made out with a drinking fountain afterward.
- Throwing up in my mouth is never cool. Or anywhere else on me for that matter. You are obliged to help me clean up if you can't hold your chunks.
- All articles of clothing should be returned to me if they fall in your possession, because that bra cost me 30 bucks.
- We will lol about this the morning after because everyone saw us. No lol means you should grow some balls.

kthnxdone.