customer rant

• Don't try to hide your garbage around the table. I will find it. I will not like finding it. I will hate you when I find it.
• Do not assume things go places without bonified evidence of their placement.
• There are napkins for a reason. Use them. Because you're not a neanderthal.
• At least make an attempt to use/dispose of everything on your plate. You order food because you are hungry. If you aren't going to eat your toast at least give it to a starving homeless individual on the street.
• Water is good for you. We give it to you because this is the case. Drink it. At least some of it.
• If you have a baby with you, in the name of all that is good and holy, forgive those irresponsible parents who leave cheerios and baby num-nums with their unattended baby who proceeds to toss them on the floor like the ignorant future-business person it is.
• In attempt of some degree of consideration you find yourself stacking the dishes for me, make sure they are not prone to tipping as it will result in a mess on the ground and me hating you for it.
• Babies. Enough of them.
• It is incredibly thoughtless of you to stick your leg out in the aisle. Are you not aware of the obscene traffic that goes on within these aisles? Do you not understand the hazard your limb is presenting to unsuspecting attendants? Underneath the surface of the table is hollow and it also serves a purpose.
• If you are in a rush, go to a fast-food restaurant. Do not complain to us about the rate of which your order is arriving because we don't all microwave our food.
• Direct all complaints toward someone who can do something about it. I am no magician.
• Do not arrive at noontime on a Saturday and request a table for 9 because I will hate you.
• Letting children run amuck makes me want to make your face a muck. Stop it.
• Tip your waitress or receive hate vibes.

cups&saucers

Thanks to the past few weeks of working as a hostess, it has come to my attention that I'm more or less inclined to OCD behaviour:

This is evident in my specific placings of table settings.

CUPS MUST MATCH. SAUCERS MUST MATCH. MATCHING. MUST. HAPPEN.

And if this does not occur, a physical -yet internal- reaction takes place within me and makes me very.

uncomfortable.

Until I set the next table ever so perfectly and can finally exhale peacefully.

Hopefully it's not just me.

KITTY BABIES

KITTIE BABIES
NOTAIL BABIES

MINZ KITTIES

BABIE KITTIES

OGADOGADOGAD

where in the world is higgs boson?

see this

just sayin'

spoon

maybe

i'm crazy but

laughing out loud

makes the pain

pass by

And maybe

you're a little crazy but

laughing out loud

makes it all

subside

sup,rothko

I insist upon the equal existence of the world engendered in the mind and the world engendered by God outside of it. If I have faltered in the use of familiar objects, it is because I refuse to mutilate their appearance for the sake of an action which they are too old to serve, or for which perhaps they had never been intended. I quarrel with surrealists and abstract art only as one quarrels with his father and mother; recognizing the inevitability and function of my roots, but insistent upon my dissent; I, being both they, and an integral completely independent of them.

-rothko on abstraction

not likely to survive

formspring account: estimated duration of existence = a week

http://www.formspring.me/crankygypsy

top 10 (or so) worst places to get a mosquito bite

10) Bottom of your foot

9) In between fingers

8) Below your nose

7) Underneath tight jeans

6) Boobs/moobs

5) Ass

4) Armpit

3) Gonads

2) Near lips (herpes?)

1) THAT SPOT ON YOUR BACK THAT CHAFES AGAINST YOUR BRA WHATISTHISSHIT

is it just me

who often reads

"public"

as

"pubic"

and

"bowl"

as

"blow"

and

"organism"

as

"orgasm"

sup gutterbrains