We say the weirdest shit ever. Our slang is completely fucked up.
Consider this: If someone who had just recently learned English were to translate what I just said, they would be under the impression that I verbalized fecal matter and preformed intercourse with casual vocabulary.
It's bloody insane (coagulation of mentally delusional fluids in the veins) that we talk like this on a daily basis and no one questions our methods. Fucking hell (Penetrating the fiery vagina of a religious fixation of eternal damnation), I can't believe the kind of dumb shit (uneducated matter projecting from the colon) our generation gets away with. It makes me want to pop a squat (burst a nearly-sitting position intended for excersize) knowing that our actions might diffuse onto our children in an exponential way. I mean, when it comes to spelling, what is with these unnecessary, silent letters? Why is it that the word "though" has one syllable, but three extra letters just loitering around? Are they selling crack (retail of fissures) to the first three letters, the ones actually pulling everyone's shit (using force to move a pile of digested organisms belonging to a mass crowd) together? Were they all originally friends, a tight-knit (close weaving of thin threads of wool) group of comrades, separated by the insecurities and consequences of drugs? Does "Tho" just bring along the other three because they feel responsible for their lack of effort in the pronunciation of the word? Does the guilt hang over them like a dark, looming cloud of shame and complicated history?
I, for one, would like to know.
But seriously.
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